Feature Issue on Self Direction
Authoring Myself
Authoring one’s self isn’t easy, but
if we are fluid, dynamic, in flux, then all is open to us.
We’re less sure of ourselves—yes—but in that uncertainty lies hope and possibility: associative, expansive, collaborative, collective.
Never set in one’s mind, always changing, one’s way feels less closed off,
more open to connecting
—DJ Savarese
More than anything, self-direction means knowing who you are, how to ask for help, and who to get support from. When I was a younger man, I managed myself according to what other people thought I should be. Now I manage myself according to who I want to be. It’s not that I have everything figured out; I don’t. But I have certain principles that help guide me.
First, I need to know myself as an integral part of something(s) bigger than myself. I want to relate and connect with as many different people and communities as possible. Without them, I feel alone and isolated. Without them, I feel less available to myself. With these communities, what I seek is a way forward that offers all of us hope and expansive possibilities. I can’t emphasize enough how important this is to me. For example, when the pandemic hit and I couldn’t see anyone outside my home, I began creating and recreating projects that brought me into contact with my communities. I did more panel presentations instead of solo; when someone invited me to keynote, I invited someone to co-present alongside me. I turned personal writing projects into communal ones and began co-teaching inclusive, global, multigenerational poetry writing courses.
Second, self-direction and leadership isn’t about going it alone. It’s about choosing who you get advice and assistance from. Choosing who we get support from really matters. They are working for and with us and trusting them is a decision only we can make. What I look for in support assistants changes a lot depending on the environment and what responsibilities they have. I usually prefer young people my age for daily work-related and social activities, but if I’m traveling out of town for in-person events, I prefer someone older. And sometimes, as with my tech support assistant, the right person comes along, and we just click. Although we don’t necessarily work together every week, we have stayed working together for over 10 years.
Third, my well-being matters. Options, alternatives, and finding multiple ways through ensure I feel secure and safe. Frequent, daily choice-making is essential. Waiver and vocational rehabilitation plans often force us to choose one identity and stick to it. That feels unsafe to me. When we imagine those contracts and goals define our way forward, we are NOT self-directing. A self-directed life is a series of creative improvisations, and self-direction tools need the flexibility to offer us ongoing and diverse advisers, support, and guidance of our own choosing. Only then may we become the people we hope to be, with the people we choose around us, in a world we’ve worked to co-construct.