Feature Issue on Addiction and IDD

I was a late drinker. I didn’t start until my 30s, which is really late, and I never even experimented with alcohol before that. At first it was just having a few drinks while at a bar or up at the cabin. When difficult things started happening, though, I started to notice that alcohol was a really good painkiller. I used it to calm my nerves and try to forget about problems in my relationship with my parents. Over time, my addiction manifested, and it just took off.

Author Nathan Perry

One time I got really drunk in my apartment alone and was full of rage. I started screaming, and the neighbors called the cops. The police came and tried to check on me, but I didn’t hear them, so they eventually broke down the door. I live with my brother and sister-in-law, who were away for a few days. When I told my direct support professional what had happened, she reassured me and sat with me for support when I called my family to tell them what happened.

At first, I didn’t think there was a problem. I thought it was just a bad night related to circumstances in my life. But after a few more similar instances, I found out that when I drink, a lot of times I get really mad and overwhelmed. My family helped me get a professional assessment, and I just lied my way through it, still pretending there wasn’t really a problem. I was in complete denial, and I relapsed four times, including once when a very close friend of mine died. I was working during this time, and my boss was very understanding, but eventually I had to leave that job. Addiction cost me a good boss, who was also a good friend.

Finally, I realized I didn’t have control over my addiction and that I needed to turn it over to somebody who knows what they’re doing—and to listen to them. I had to come to the truth for myself about what was happening. I had been drinking a huge amount of liquor on a daily basis, and it took its toll. As I started getting sober, I was able to accept my addiction and the fact that it was exacerbating my other problems. I also found out that it takes a long time to get addiction under control.

Along the way, I had support from Alcoholics Anonymous groups, individual counseling, and my friends and family. I’ve now been sober for eight years. The people in my AA groups knew I have autism and some mental health issues, but they were welcoming to me.

Addiction is one of those things that a lot of families try to sweep under the rug, but I learned in the midst of dealing with mine that it really is OK to ask for help, and that you shouldn’t try to deal with it all on your own. It can be hard to find resources as someone who struggles with addiction and disability, but you (or those supporting you) need to keep trying.

Fighting this is still hard for me. The pandemic, and now all the conflict going on in the world, makes it hard to deal with stress, and I feel we live in a society that is not safe. Those stresses still eat at me, but I don’t drink. I do wish there were resources for people who are no longer drinking or using drugs, but who still need support for what caused the addiction in the first place. Almost always, there is a path of stressors that you walk before developing an addiction. Trauma can’t be eliminated completely, so finding good mental health resources will help you live with the stresses without turning to chemicals. Just talking to people about how you are feeling and getting it out there in the open can help a lot.

All of this underscores the need for mentors and engaging in meaningful community activities, even after someone stops drinking or using drugs. It’s a lifelong process.